Our holiday show in Brainerd went well. It was over the course of two weekends in November. Then I also had for two weekends in December.
January really kicked off with teaching and it still continues!
I have been trying to find the time to do my own art at the same time which I will say has been quite a struggle. One evening I needed some "comforting" unwinding zen and looked at some pieces I had started quite a while back.
I had some mixed media sticks I had done some time ago and felt I needed to do something with them. So on I went. I created a face out of polymer clay which I painted. Grabbing a few elements and scraps of material in my stash and wire I started to wrap my sticks.
I was months after finishing a project for Art Walk Alchemy 2019 that includes 24 artists for a year long course, which left such an impression on me. I did not at the time realize how much. Here is the link https://www.mysticspringstudios.com/awa-2019-shop/yctt-2019-pal
I have some of my fondest memories of being with my family when I was ten. Coming from a broken family at such a young age, this was truly a time in my life I will never forget, and appreciate. My mom, dad and me drove up the west coast from southern California all the way up to Vancouver Canada to meet my grandmother at the train station. That trip has always left such wonderful memories and a huge impression on me. When I saw totems nearing Canada I was always in such awe of these somewhat scary, mystical, yet beautiful poles, at the time not at all realizing what they were or what they meant.
When I was asked to be a featured artist in Art Walk Alchemy 2019 and was told what the theme would be, Totems and Talismans, I was of course very excited. What I did not know was what emotions would come out of me from this project.
I finished my project with something stirred deep inside me that has not left, thankfully. Sometimes we may not necessarily “forget” fond memories, but rather they get pushed back due to every day life and what is important at that time. We are all just humans.
So recently I started a few projects that depicted a “woman” if you will. Nothing against any other gender, but just because it made sense to me being a woman myself that I could relate to.
My daughter and I have been gathering sticks and rusty metal objects for the past few years while out on our walks. I have always been drawn to rust, I think of the old weathered buildings my mom and I use to walk by on our trips down L.A.
I started my project with just twigs, sticks, material, rusty metals and beads. I painted her face with a patina and a dimple that I had impressions before baking her clay face :)
As I added her hair from moss and grass, attaching the two together with metal wire, she needed more stability as her “frame” was rather weak…. in the beginning.
She need more stability, a “strong backbone” if you will. So I grabbed larger twigs and branches to give her the strength she needed.
But now she felt “cold”. No protection. She needed more material and wool to keep her warm. I felt very “comfortable” now. Warm and protected from the cold. But she needed more. So I added more yarns, moss, beads, anything I could find in my stash to give her more “life”and comfort.
What I noticed was she was needing more stability to hold together. So I wrapped wire around her to help protect her even more. I kept adding more material, wool, metal objects, wire and yarns. When was she going to be complete?
What I did not realize was, was that I was “trapping” parts of her, emotions that she was keeping safe from harm. So as I looked at her and I felt compelled to “loosen” some of her fabric, then wool, then beads. What a release this was for me. I say that because as I was loosening some of the tight fabrics, I was also releasing a lot of what has been “held” inside of me for so long.
If one were to unfold her, there would be so many more treasures inside her not easily seen from the surface as I have left some emblems hidden, for she needs secrets to herself too.
Struggles, confusion, loss of self confidence and self esteem, and fond memories that are painful to remember, yet what I must, are what I have felt working on this project.
I added more metal wrappings but have found I have “loosened” them a bit, yet strong enough to hold her together.
As I look her smile on her face, I know I have given myself an “ok” to be happy, let myself have moments of self doubt yet realize them and overcome them, to be strong, to also loosen up a bit because it is “ok” I am human too.
